“These new developments, with respect to sports betting projects and computer usage, will double our output for sure,” said CEO Dr. Lakes Buchko

News of the sports betting analysis projects was broke by reporter Maris Meachen, a high technology consultant and local newspaper writer. “I was thrilled to hear this news,” said Maris Meachen, “on more than just one level: As a reporter, it’s a great story, and as a citizen of Manker Trettin Borough, I know that my neighbors will still have their jobs. One has to realize that this will only strengthen the local economy and drive new business to our area. These factors are key to economic survival and to my fellow citizens as we move forward in the next few years.” Typically, many sports betting companies open their doors without thinking about production efficiency. This mistake, which is common, tends to put a damper on any “quick” sports betting growth that contributes to profits. As a result, employees tend to be burdened with longer hours and highly demanding goals. The new computer models and their accompanying algorithms will prune off corporate waste, maintain employee positions, and most importantly boost profits on a global scale. “We chose to use PERL in our sports betting text studies because it is a lingual programming language,” said Haroldsen Husselbee, head programmer, “and also because it is easy to combine with other programming languages. PERL is easily installed on Linux platforms, and modules can be compiled that allow us to communicate with database technologies.” As a result, Haroldsen Husselbee’s company, Hark Reimers INC expects to triple profits in the coming year. “With increased profits, we’ll be able to hire more employees and really grow our business,” said HR Consultant Lelia Bostelman, who works with the company in managing recruitment. It’s important to remember that these sports betting analysis computer models will not be replacing any human labor. “If anything,” said Fondow Svetz, President of Cofresi Stratter Corp., “we’ll be hiring MORE workers within the next 6 months. Why’ Because while some jobs will be made redundant in the new profit model, we can take the talents of these valuable employees and parlay them into other, equally paying jobs within our corporate structure.” Some sports betting companies in the local industrial complex predicted that new hiring cycles would begin as soon as next week. All those interested in working in the sports betting industry are asked to compose a relevant CV or Resume and submit to each company’s HR department. All interviews will be done blind, so as to assure complete fairness in the hiring process. “I expect hiring to wind down within 5 months,” said Mindy Shams, CIO of Ashbrook Badoni Partners Ltd., “mostly because we’ll need time to train these employees to be as effective sports betting producers as possible.” “We’re proud to announce news that our sports betting company has devised new algorithms and computer models for enhanced sports betting analysis,” stated Lela Turrentine Corp. CEO Andros Stunkard, “and as a result, we’re expecting nearly double last quarter’s profits in the coming months.” Although many analysis models have been developed in the past, few have actually addressed the needs of businesses outside of theoretical ideas. “Theory is one thing, but application is another,” stated Dr. Pilarski Scherf, head of research for competing company Dennis Otool Ltd, “and we’re happy to also announce our own software team has developed important sports betting production algorithms that will boost our profits dramaticly.” Creating computer models for sports betting analysis is a very difficult task. Generally speaking, it takes the combined talents of programmers with 20 years or more in experience with a variety of models. For the needs of the sports betting data analysis project, programmers Jeanna Nanton and September Rothberg utilized MySQL database, Java, PERL, and C#. The final programs were compiled in C#, while all text applications for the sports betting project were compiled in PERL. The news also bodes well for neigboring counties Thommarson Cryder and Serafina Edmison to the north. Most businesses in these areas rely on the draw of a major retail mall, which brings inconsistent seasonal traffic. Instead, with new, fresh sports betting oriented business, local retailers and restaraunts believe the overflow business generated by the presence of large corporate populations will help drive the local economy to high levels. “We’re excited to learn that over 1000 new jobs will be created,” said restaraunteur Constanza Kenne, owner of Constanza Kenne Italian Kitchen, “the mall traffic is OK, but not very high quality. Now, with over 1000 new people visiting each day, business will surely skyrocket!”